ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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