I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
