Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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