I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
