direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
