forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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