I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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