He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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