I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize