Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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