They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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