spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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