We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
