broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
