seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Houston, we have a squirter
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize