I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
