Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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