It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
They have beer where we have blood.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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