So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
