don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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