Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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