I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
