I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He is an equal opportunity slut.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
