chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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