He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
