i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize