Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
