The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
