Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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