Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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