Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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