420 ftw
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
