Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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