Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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