he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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