And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
