Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
