Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
