the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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