i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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