So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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