he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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