bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
