I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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