threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I am naked and annoyed.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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