and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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