She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
