Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
