im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
