Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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