When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
