I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
