I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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