You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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